I previously wrote a post about Knox's birth story. If you missed it, click here to read it. As you know, it did not go as well as I had hoped. I had a bad experience, and mine may or may not have been an isolated event for the particular hospital/doctor. I've always been pretty open with people when they ask about my birth story, giving as many details as one would like, discussing the disappointing parts, but ultimately highlighting the fact that I got through it and Knox was safe, healthy, and happy. Until now, I haven't shared the second part of our journey with many people. Unfortunately, my bad experience with doctors did not stop at the birth of our first son.
When Knox was almost a month old, we packed up our belongings and moved to Osceola. We had accepted jobs here while I was still pregnant, and started looking for a house to live in. We actually missed the closing on our house because I was giving birth. Luckily for us, our realtors and bankers were very understanding and let us sign the paperwork in at the bank in Milan, getting it notarized. Small-town living at its finest.
Upon arrival in Osceola, I started thinking of all the things that never occurred to me before, including the question: Where do I even start looking for a pediatrician? We knew we weren't going to be in Milan very long after Knox was born, so we were okay with him having the on-call doctor when he was born. Thankfully, we were assigned an awesome pediatrician who we loved. The down side? He wouldn't be Knox's pediatrician for long.
I wanted someone who would be open to holding off on vaccines as long as we needed. We didn't know if that would be 1 year, 5 years, or forever! All we knew was that we didn't want to give him any for at least the first year of his life. I started looking for pediatricians in the area, and reading reviews on each. I wanted a D.O. as I know they are more open to holistic medicine. There were only a few in the area.
I picked up the phone and called one who had awesome reviews online. The receptionist answered, and I asked if this doctor was accepting new patients. She said yes. My next question was, "Is he open to waiting on vaccinations? My son has not been vaccinated and I am not interested in getting any for a while." She assured me that he was open to this mindset. I made the appointment.
I hung up the phone, feeling proud of myself for finding someone so easily who would see my unvaccinated child. And everyone told me I couldn't do it.
It was a Wednesday. I took off a day of work to go to the appointment. My mother-in-law came with me to help with Knox if I needed it. We got to the waiting room. We waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, Knox's name was called. I got to the room and stripped him down to his diaper. The nurse measured him and weighed him. She said to leave him in his diaper and the doctor would be in soon.
We waited. And waited. And waited.
Finally, the doctor came in. He shook my hand, introduced himself. He had Knox's chart in his hand. He sat in a rolling chair. I was standing by the table, where Knox was laying, still in his diaper.
He started talking, and I thought it was odd that he wouldn't get near my little 4-month-old. I mean, not even close enough to touch him. He stayed back at least 5 feet. I assumed he just wanted a history, no big deal.
The more he talked, the more I realized something was up. He started talking about vaccinations. Now I knew what was going on. He pulled some pamphlets out of Knox's file on vaccines and gave them to me. He kept repeating himself, saying things like, "pediatricians are held to a higher standard." And, "I'm in charge of the well-being of a child from birth to 18 years." And, "I believe vaccinations are an important part of a child's health."
This went on for a while. I'm not sure how long, as I got really flustered. I'd say it was probably 15 minutes. The whole time, Knox laid on the table in just a diaper. After he started repeating himself for the third time, my mother-in-law stepped in and said, "So if I understand you correctly, you aren't going to see Knox today?" He responded by saying, "I just don't feel comfortable starting a relationship with a patient if I can't continue care for him."
He then started repeating himself AGAIN. My mother-in-law said, "We understand what you're saying. We are educated people and don't need you to repeat it again." Then she started dressing Knox.
The only thing I could mutter was, "When I called to set up an appointment, I specifically asked if you would be open to seeing an unvaccinated patient. The receptionist told me you were."
His response? "We tell them to say that so we can get you in here and give you information on vaccines." I told him that I wish I would have known that before taking off a day of work and driving over an hour to get to the appointment. But that's okay, because he told me he wouldn't charge for the visit.
WHAAAAT?!?
SO. Nice of him.
We packed up and walked out, leaving his precious hand-outs on the exam table.
Here were my afterthoughts, and what I really wish I could have thought of in the moment to say to him:
~If you care so much about the well-being of all children, why won't you even get near my kid? You have a child laying on your exam table, right in front of you, and you won't check him out?
~You believe it is unethical to start a relationship with a patient who you know you can't continue that relationship with, but it is ethical to intentionally lie to people to get them into your office so you can force your beliefs on them?
~You think vaccinated children are the healthiest, but I hear a kid in the next room coughing and hacking (who I can only assume is vaccinated since you are seeing them), and my child has never been sick. (Which, by the way, even now at 2 years old, I can count on one hand the number of times Knox has been sick).
~Finally, no, this visit was not 'free of charge' for me. I lost a day's wage to take a day off work to get to the appointment, and then spent gas money to drive over 2 hours round-trip. But thanks for not charging me for what you called a 'visit.'
I honestly wish I knew who I could report the doctor to. I'm sure there is someone to report to when a doctor is being unethical. He admitted to me that they blatantly lie to their patients.
So this was the second healthcare letdown I had in Knox's life. I just want to reiterate that I am not against doctors and hospitals. I know that many many people have great experiences, but I also know that my story isn't the only one like it out there. I'm very thankful for medicine and doctors, because there are emergencies that require serious care. What I learned from these experiences is that I know my child better than any doctor. I don't need someone to look at my child from 5 feet away and tell me if he is healthy or not. I am glad to have hospitals and doctors if Knox were to ever get ill and I don't know how to handle it. But for now, we will keep using essential oils, homeopathics, and feeding him a healthy diet as a preventative.
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