Pregnancy and Family Update

Lots of people have been asking when I'm going to have this baby, how I'm feeling, or just how our family is doing. 

First, I have NO idea when this little girl will make her appearance in the world. I think most everyone knows that I'm opting for a natural birth with a midwife this time around. So unless there is a major problem, she will come when she and my body is ready! What I do know is that my due date is December 9, and my midwife will let me go two weeks (longer if everything looks good and healthy) past my due date. So anytime in the next few weeks :) 

I have been feeling ok, but am getting a little uncomfortable. On thanksgiving day, I started having cramping and my belly would tighten (maybe Braxton Hicks?). I've also been nesting. Cody and I spent all day Thursday cleaning and organizing. I've been getting last minute items packed, bows and headbands made for the little girl, and finishing decorating the nursery. 

One popular question I get over and over is, "are you ready?" The answer is yes and no! I am ready to see this little baby, hold her, and give her lots of kisses. BUT I still feel a little hesitation about the unknown--how will the birth go? How will breastfeeding go? How will Knox react? And I still have a few things I need to get done, like making up some freezer meals ahead of time. 

Everyone is doing great in our family. Cody is done with football season, which has made my life a lot easier! Knox is talking SO much and learning a lot. He loves learning shapes and colors. He also likes counting (he can count to 13 now) and singing (some of his favorite songs are the ABC's, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Jesus Loves Me, and The Wheels on the Bus). It's so funny to hear what little phrases he picks up on and uses. 

Over the summer, we were on a mission to get Knox to sleep in his own bed, seeing as how we will have a newborn in bed with us soon and all four of us wouldn't fit in a queen bed comfortably. We moved his toddler bed into our room and put it right next to my side of the bed. I think it helped ease him into sleeping by himself, and if he got scared or had a bad dream in the night, he could just climb up and spend the rest of the night with us. To get him to sleep, I would lay him in bed with me, read a book, and then sing to him until he or I fell asleep :) Cody would then move him down to his bed when he came to bed. We had gotten really bad about falling asleep and not moving him or just leaving him in bed with us the last month or so (partly because he had a bad cough and wasn't breathing the greatest). 

I haven't been sleeping very well at all with him in bed with us--between his crazy sleeping positions and me being so big, it was very uncomfortable. So I decided the first day of thanksgiving break to try to get him to sleep in his own room. I made it seem like it was his idea and he got really excited. We moved his bed back in his room. The first night he slept all night in his bed, so I made a Mickey Mouse (his favorite) sticker chart. He got to put a Mickey Mouse sticker on it and watch an episode of Mickey Mouse when he woke up. When it was nap time that day, I explained to him that he needed to rest, that he didn't have to sleep but he couldn't come out of his room. I checked on him about 15 minutes later and he was awake still. I held him for a minute and then laid him back down. He fell right to sleep! He has now slept in his room all night for the last 3 nights, and has taken 2 naps in his room with little effort to get him to sleep. 

I can't believe how big he is getting! I do miss snuggling with him at night but I also have enjoyed the extra space in bed. I'm hoping this new sleeping arrangement sticks when the new baby gets here. I'm afraid he will be jealous that she gets to sleep with us. Although it wasn't always the most comfortable waking up with Knox kicking me in the ribs or smacking me in the face, I wouldn't change anything about it. Being a working mom, it seems like I miss out on spending time with him some days. Just having the extra 8 (or so) hours of snuggles at night help make up for that a little bit. 

How I Chose a Midwife

As you know, I did not have the most pleasant experience giving birth to Knox.  I've mentioned that I am using what I learned to help me this time around. 

I decided, long before getting pregnant for the second time, that I wanted my next birth to be different. Honestly, I probably decided this shortly after having Knox. Although I wanted it to be different, I didn't really know what that meant. I knew I wanted to try a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), but looking back, I pictured that happening in a hospital with a doctor who was willing to give it a try.

You should know (if you read my previous post) that I had trouble breastfeeding with Knox. We packed up and moved to Osceola when Knox was barely 1 month old. We were away from all the medical professionals in Kirksville who knew who we were. We had no pediatrician yet, and I was out of people to look to for help with breastfeeding.

While pregnant, I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (great resource for anyone wanting to have a natural childbirth!) and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding (by the way, Ina May is a Midwife), and I remembered how much she talked about helping new moms with breastfeeding. I began looking for midwives in the area as a last resort for someone to help. I found a list and furiously typed out a desperate-sounding email to the first lady on the list. She replied with the name and email address of a doula in my area who could possibly help.

That doula came to my house personally and helped with Knox's latch. I felt a lot more confident after she left, but she continued to email me to check on me a couple times a week at first. I am very thankful for her, as she answered a lot of questions over the following months. One of the questions being, "who do I see for a pediatrician if I don't want to give vaccinations?" She suggested I see a midwife (different from the first one I emailed), and gave me the contact information for one she knew of who did well-child checkups.

I set up an appointment with Brenda Abercrombie, and she saw Knox right away. Our first appointment with her was 2 hours long. Usually when you tell someone you were at the doctor for 2 hours, it's because of waiting (because you may see the doctor for 10-15 minutes of that 2 hours). With the midwife, the 2 hours was face-to-face contact with Brenda. Before even seeing Knox, she wanted to know how my pregnancy was, the birth story, why I chose no vaccinations, anything about him up until that point in his life. She was very thorough and actually listened intently, rather than rushing from one patient to the next. She drew blood to check my thyroid. She wanted to watch Knox breastfeed to check his latch.

I told her about my experience with the pediatrician in Springfield. She wasn't surprised. She told me that a few years ago, all the doctors in Springfield got together and agreed to not take on any patients who were unvaccinated. Interesting.

I knew after that visit that I wanted to use Brenda as my midwife for my next birth. I probably would  be able to find someone to 'try' a VBAC, but in the end, I knew I would get little support from that doctor. I just knew that if I went that route, I would end up with another c-section.

During Knox's next check-up with Brenda, we talked about using a midwife for a VBAC. I was nowhere near ready to think about having another baby, as Knox was just a few months old, but I wanted to have a plan for when it did happen again. After that visit, I had my mind made up...a midwife it would be for my next birth.

Here are some reasons I chose a midwife, and why no one should be worried about me using a midwife:

1. Common beliefs. With an ob/gyn, I felt like I was always going against the advice given. I was constantly written prescriptions that I never filled. I listened politely to recommendations to treat symptoms, only to go home to look up more natural solutions. With a midwife, I can tell her my honest opinion and I know she actually cares about what I have to say. We both agree that a drug-free, natural childbirth is best for the baby. Ultimately, that is the goal for both of us. 

2. Quality of care. I thought it was interesting to see this post from parents magazine on Facebook: 

Every appointment I've had, I feel like I am the main focus. There is rarely any other patient waiting. I remember being disappointed because I wanted to talk to the doctor when I called the office with a question, or when I was in labor and a million things were running through my head. With the midwife, I call or text her directly with any questions I have. And I know she will be there when I need her during labor as well. 

3. Knowledge. I'm amazed every time I go to a check-up with the knowledge my midwife has. 

4. A positive approach. I remember my first appointment with the ob/gyn. They went over a long list of things to stay away from...diet soda, undercooked meat, raw eggs, lunch meats, etc. I never got that lecture from my midwife. Instead, she gives me things TO eat! For example, she talked about the importance of protein, something I never once heard from my ob/gyn. With Knox, I was pretty much told any prenatal vitamin is good. Now I know that a natural (vs. synthetic) prenatal supplement is best, as your body is more able to absorb it. It's nice to know how to eat to best benefit my growing baby. 

5. And finally, because it's fun to see the looks I get when I tell people I'm using a midwife. No, I'm not having a home birth. I will be having the baby in a birthing clinic, just blocks away from a hospital in Springfield. This is the best solution since I did have a c-section with Knox. I feel confident with my midwife because she was a nurse practitioner first. She isn't afraid to write a prescription if I truly need it, but I know she won't jump to that first. 

I'm so excited to give birth! I know there is a chance that things won't go as I hope, but I do know that I'm trying everything possible to have a healthy birth! 

A Baby Story

With Knox's SECOND birthday fast-approaching, it only seems right to reminisce a little. First of all, I can't believe my baby boy is pretty much 2. I remember holding my little baby in my arms and having people tell me to enjoy it because it goes by so fast. Yeah, yeah, I thought to myself. 

(This is Knox when he was one day old)

SO! Here we go! The story of how Knox made his grand entrance into the world. 

I remember going into my check-ups with a list of a million questions. One of the first questions I asked my doctor was how she supported natural births. I wanted a completely drug-free pregnancy and birth. I wouldn't even take Tylenol for a headache during pregnancy.  She assured me that she felt the more natural, the better. I asked if I would have breastfeeding support and she told me there was a lactation consultant at the hospital 24/7. 

Knox was born on a Tuesday. The Friday before, I had gone on my daily walk. I walked to the school to see everyone who was teaching summer school. We stood around and talked for a while. I noticed my back was hurting really bad but figured it was from standing for so long. When Cody and I got back to the house, I talked to my mom. She was very worried that I may be having back labor. Her sister had that and ended up delivering my cousin in her apartment. 

Reluctantly, I called the hospital. They said to come on in...it wouldn't hurt to get checked out. In my head, I refused to become that woman who goes to the hospital 8 times thinking she's in labor. So, I told Cody to go ahead and shower. We took our time getting to the hospital. When we got there, I got hooked up to the monitor and I was having contractions. I wasn't feeling them around front like a normal person would. They weren't very strong, not strong enough to be in full blown labor, so we went home. (Oh, and we got pulled over for no reason on the way home. Cody wasn't speeding...it was late so I think they were checking for drunk drivers) 

Over the next few days, I continued to go on 1-2 walks a day. My back hurt really bad but I just dealt with it. I had my weekly appointment that Wednesday so I was just trying to make it until then. Unfortunately, when I woke up on Tuesday, I couldn't take it anymore. My back hurt so bad that I couldn't get comfortable in any position. I called the doctor's office to see if my ob/gyn could see me a day early. They said she was on-call at the hospital, but I could go over there and she could check me out in her spare time. 

So, yet again, we packed up the car. We checked in at the hospital and got hooked up to the monitor. Again, I was having contractions but I still couldn't feel anything in the front. 

The doctor came to check me. While checking me, I felt like I peed all over myself. She asked when my water broke. I looked at Cody super confused, looked back at the doctor, and said , 'just now?' She said it must have broke before, and that she just released it. I was thinking back to any sign that my water had broke before then and I couldn't think of anything. She kept pressuring me to give her a time, and finally asked what time I had woke up that morning. I told her 9:00. And she said she would write 9:00 down as the approximate time my water broke. 

At the time, I was really confused and excited and didn't think much of it. She told me I was dilated to 4, but that she couldn't feel knox's head at all. Again, strange, because at my appointment the week before, she had felt his head. 

The problem was that I had two water bags. The first had broken, but the second was still intact. She thought I would go into full-blown labor if the other water broke, but she wouldn't do it until she could feel the head.

Sooo she recommended pitocin. She thought the pitocin would enhance the contractions, pushing Knox down into the birthing canal. So, hesitantly, I agreed. There went the birth plan. 

I got hooked up to the pitocin, and prepared for intense contractions, as that's what I heard pitocin did. And so I waited. And waited. Still nothing. 

I walked the halls. I bounced on the ball. I walked some more. I walked for hours. Every 30 minutes they came back to increase the dosage of pitocin. Eventually it was on the full amount. The nurse told me to be prepared for extreme contractions with the full dose of pitocin. At that point I was ready for any sort of contraction. 

I got nothing. Still back pain. 

After being on the full dose of pitocin for about 5 hours (it could have been longer), I was still only dilated to 4. And knox's head was still nowhere to be found. 

We had been at the hospital for 12 hours with no change. The doctor came in and told me she recommended a c-section. She thought we could keep going like this until morning and I *might* be dilated to a 5, but at 9:00 (the time she pressured me to give her) they would have to do a c-section anyway because of risk of infection. 

I was devastated. 

So they prepped me for c-section. They rushed Cody off to get ready. I was all alone and upset. And pregnant. What an awful combination!! 

I got to the OR. Cody was still not there. I remember hearing them tell me to lay down on the other bed. Someone said, 'epidural right?' 

NO! NO EPIDURAL! I HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING! DON'T START CUTTING ME!! 

Luckily, I didn't have to say any of those things out loud because someone set them straight. I had to get a spinal. Which freaked me out. 

Cody came into the room. With no camera. I was completely crushed! We would be missing out on once-in-a-lifetime shots! I probably started crying. Our saint, a.k.a. pediatrician, graciously went to our room and got my camera. Thank heavens for that man. 

A few minutes later, we heard a beautiful cry. The doctor said, 'whoa! That's a big baby!' And then lifted him over the curtain. I said, 'he's so cute!!' I just remember thinking a brand-new baby shouldn't be that cute. 

(Knox, showing his muscles within the first few minutes) 

They weighed him and then Cody left with him, leaving me with my doctor, nurses, and anesthesiologist. I was shaking really bad and kept asking if that was normal. I was freezing! The scariest part was hearing the nurses and doctor do periodic instrument checks: '4 scissors' '4 scissors, check'. I mean, it's good they were doing it but it just reminded me that something could possibly be sewn up inside me. 

It felt like it took absolutely forever, but when they wheeled me out, they were still working on Knox. They brought him to me (finally!!) and Cody and I got to have some alone time with him before the rest of the family came in. 

I got sick that night...I guess from the medication. They ended up leaving a bed tray for me just in case...which I later used to throw at Cody. Knox was crying, I couldn't feel my legs, Cody was asleep, and my nurse buzzer had fallen. It was my last resort to wake Cody up and it did the trick! 

I wondered why the doctor said Knox was so big when he only weighed 7lbs 12oz. I later found out that a 15.5 inch head is in fact not a normal size head for a newborn. It just means he's got big brains right?? 

I hated most of my birth experience. I absolutely loved being pregnant. I wasn't scared of a natural childbirth at all. But I feel like the doctor pressured me to give her a time when she accidentally broke my water. I don't feel like I was actually in labor and that I was forced to have an unnecessary c-section. 

After the birth, I still felt like I was unsupported. I had no help with breastfeeding. There was one nurse who had some patience to help Knox with his latch. We sent Knox to the nursery the second night because Cody couldn't sleep. I asked for them to bring him to me every 2 hours to try to nurse. I woke up and 6 hours had gone by. The nurse gave him formula, which I had specifically told them was not an option. I feel like my milk supply suffered from all of this, as well as knox's latch. 

I hated feeling out of control of my own body for so long. I couldn't feel anything from the waist down, which meant I couldn't even get up to take care of Knox at first. I also hated not having immediate skin-to-skin contact. Or even being able to touch Knox for so long. 

The icing on the cake was when I went in for my 2-week appointment with my ob/gyn. I was still having milk supply and latch problems. She asked what percentile Knox was in. I told her (it was low at that point). She said, 'obviously whatever you're doing is not working. You need to give it up.' Those words resonated with me and probably had a psychological effect on me the whole time. If she would have taken a more proactive approach, she could have checked out my thyroid and figured out it was playing a HUGE part in my milk production. 

There are many things I can look back and want to do different. But the fact of the matter is I can't change what's already happened. I can learn from my experience for this pregnancy (another post on that at a later date). And, when it's all said and done, Knox is here with us; and after a rough start, he is a very healthy, very happy almost 2-year-old. 

(I guess everyone was right...they do grow up so fast!)

Coming This December...

It's official!! We can now announce to the world that we will be expecting baby number 2 in December! We are super excited and nervous at the same time. I mean, what will we do with TWO?!?!

So far, it's been a lot of feeling sick and bloated. I haven't thrown up, but have been really nauseous the entire time. Hopefully that ends soon.

Knox is pretty funny about it. Sometimes he is super sweet and gives the baby kisses (and even high 5's....a.k.a. he smacks me in the belly). And sometimes we ask him if he's ready for a new baby and he straight up says "no." He will be almost exactly 2 1/2 when the new baby gets here so I think he will come around to the idea by then. He is really helpful around the house and when we visited my niece last week, he kept getting her sippy cup for her when she dropped it. I think he'll be pretty helpful when the time comes.

I know the question will be if we want a boy or a girl. I don't really care either way. A boy would be easy since we already have all the stuff but it would be nice to have one of each too. We will love him/her unconditionally either way.

I will try to post updates as we go along in this journey for the second time. Right now, we are just happy beyond words!