Bowling and a Wakeup Call

As the summer draws to an end, and football season and the new school year creep closer and closer, it's always sad to think about leaving my babies. I feel like the summer went by so fast, and I reflect on what I could have done to spend my time more wisely. 

One thing we wanted to do with Knox before the end of summer was take him bowling. He has a play bowling set that he plays with in the basement, and we knew it would blow his mind to even see a bowling alley. Yes, he's easily entertained, and yes, we are taking advantage of that in every possible way. 

His first bowling experience was tonight. It surpassed anything he could have imagined, and I wish I would have recorded his reaction when we first walked in. Think about in the movies when someone is walking toward the light of heaven. That was Knox....walking right past the snack bar, the shoe rental, and the video games, and straight toward the lanes. As if some higher power was pulling him closer. 

With bumpers up (for me too, not just Knox) the lightest ball in the place, and the cutest little bowling shoes I've ever seen, Knox  figured out how to get the ball down the lane, and even put some spin on it. He got a little overzealous at one point and tried to throw it hard. The people next to us were really understanding when it came flying down their lane.

 One game wasn't enough, but two games was too much. You live and you learn. Halfway through our second game, they turned the lights off and put on the black lights and disco balls. That added a fun twist. 

A little celebration dance! 

Nora looked like a little glowbug in the black lights. 

He scored 57 on his first game!

58 on game two. But more importantly, notice that I beat Cody the second game! 

Although we had a great time, I couldn't help but keep thinking about dinner. Knox chose our dinner location, so we went to McDonald's. I walked in and although there were 20-30 people at the tables, it was eerily quiet. I sat down and started looking around. Table after table, there were kids, teens, and adults of all ages glued to their technology--smart phones, tablets, computers. There was one elderly couple and another table of 5 or so elderly people who were enjoying each other's company, but everyone else could care less who they were sitting next to. 

A few stuck out to me more than others. The first: to the left of me was a teen and her mom. The mom kept trying to make conversation, only to get quick responses from her daughter, who was on her phone for the entire meal. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the mom. At some point, will my children treat me this way? If I buy them a meal, I would want to be treated with respect by them giving me their time. As a parent, if I'm paying for the phone they use, I will make the rules. That means the person in front of you is more important than the person you are texting or facebooking. Why do some parents feel like they can't demand that??

The second: let's call them a couple. They were there for roughly 15-20 minutes of our meal. I never once saw them speak to each other. They were both on their phones the entire time. Cody believes they were probably texting each other...ha! Even when they got up to leave, the girl walked out first, with the guy following. He never once looked up from his phone, even as he was walking out. If I'm going out to eat, I like to enjoy the company around me. I love the conversations that happen around a dinner table. Will this even be a thing in the near future? Or will we all be too caught up in what could be happening in cyber world to even think about what's going on in front of us? 

The third (and worst in my opinion): a little boy who looked about 5-years-old and his dad, sitting across from us. They were there for about 30 minutes while we were there. I saw the dad speak to his son TWICE! And it was only for a second each time. My heart absolutely broke for this sweet boy. He kept looking at Nora, waving and smiling at her. I wanted so badly to invite him over to our table so he could enjoy his meal with someone who could show him some love and attention. I'm not saying his dad is a bad dad, because I have no idea who he is. But HOW can you ignore your child for a phone? 

Our children are growing up thinking their parents love their phones more than them. That technology trumps them every time. One day, as I taught my first graders, my phone started ringing. It's always on vibrate, but my desk made it echo throughout the room. One little boy asked, "aren't you going to answer that?" I told him no, that right now I was teaching them, and they are way more important than any phone call. He gave me a surprised look that told me he was often put on hold for phone calls or texts at home. 

My heart was heavy watching the dad and his son at McDonald's, as I revisited my days and weeks this summer. I am guilty of "vegging out" in front of my phone. Have I done this too much? Could I have spent more time with my children? I wanted to stand on the table and scream at everyone eating to WAKE UP and see what they are doing to themselves, their families, their friends, and most of all their children. I see a lot more behavior problems each year I teach. Is it because that's the only way they get their parents off their phones at home? 

My hope and prayer is that we can all see the good in technology, but also see the massive amount of evil. I hope parents can start setting limits, and follow them as well. Because I'm afraid if we don't, we are going to start seeing some terrible repercussions. 

Cody and I are going to be speaking about setting limits for ourselves so this is never an issue in our home. I hope others can follow in our footsteps ❤

Knox's Story: Part 2

I previously wrote a post about Knox's birth story. If you missed it, click here to read it. As you know, it did not go as well as I had hoped. I had a bad experience, and mine may or may not have been an isolated event for the particular hospital/doctor. I've always been pretty open with people when they ask about my birth story, giving as many details as one would like, discussing the disappointing parts, but ultimately highlighting the fact that I got through it and Knox was safe, healthy, and happy. Until now, I haven't shared the second part of our journey with many people. Unfortunately, my bad experience with doctors did not stop at the birth of our first son.

When Knox was almost a month old, we packed up our belongings and moved to Osceola. We had accepted jobs here while I was still pregnant, and started looking for a house to live in. We actually missed the closing on our house because I was giving birth. Luckily for us, our realtors and bankers were very understanding and let us sign the paperwork in at the bank in Milan, getting it notarized. Small-town living at its finest.

Upon arrival in Osceola, I started thinking of all the things that never occurred to me before, including the question: Where do I even start looking for a pediatrician? We knew we weren't going to be in Milan very long after Knox was born, so we were okay with him having the on-call doctor when he was born. Thankfully, we were assigned an awesome pediatrician who we loved. The down side? He wouldn't be Knox's pediatrician for long.

I wanted someone who would be open to holding off on vaccines as long as we needed. We didn't know if that would be 1 year, 5 years, or forever! All we knew was that we didn't want to give him any for at least the first year of his life. I started looking for pediatricians in the area, and reading reviews on each. I wanted a D.O. as I know they are more open to holistic medicine. There were only a few in the area.

I picked up the phone and called one who had awesome reviews online. The receptionist answered, and I asked if this doctor was accepting new patients. She said yes. My next question was, "Is he open to waiting on vaccinations? My son has not been vaccinated and I am not interested in getting any for a while." She assured me that he was open to this mindset. I made the appointment.

I hung up the phone, feeling proud of myself for finding someone so easily who would see my unvaccinated child. And everyone told me I couldn't do it. 

It was a Wednesday. I took off a day of work to go to the appointment. My mother-in-law came with me to help with Knox if I needed it. We got to the waiting room. We waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, Knox's name was called. I got to the room and stripped him down to his diaper. The nurse measured him and weighed him. She said to leave him in his diaper and the doctor would be in soon.

We waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally, the doctor came in. He shook my hand, introduced himself. He had Knox's chart in his hand. He sat in a rolling chair. I was standing by the table, where Knox was laying, still in his diaper.

He started talking, and I thought it was odd that he wouldn't get near my little 4-month-old. I mean, not even close enough to touch him. He stayed back at least 5 feet. I assumed he just wanted a history, no big deal.

The more he talked, the more I realized something was up. He started talking about vaccinations. Now I knew what was going on. He pulled some pamphlets out of Knox's file on vaccines and gave them to me. He kept repeating himself, saying things like, "pediatricians are held to a higher standard." And, "I'm in charge of the well-being of a child from birth to 18 years." And, "I believe vaccinations are an important part of a child's health."

This went on for a while. I'm not sure how long, as I got really flustered. I'd say it was probably 15 minutes. The whole time, Knox laid on the table in just a diaper. After he started repeating himself for the third time, my mother-in-law stepped in and said, "So if I understand you correctly, you aren't going to see Knox today?" He responded by saying, "I just don't feel comfortable starting a relationship with a patient if I can't continue care for him."

He then started repeating himself AGAIN. My mother-in-law said, "We understand what you're saying. We are educated people and don't need you to repeat it again." Then she started dressing Knox.

The only thing I could mutter was, "When I called to set up an appointment, I specifically asked if you would be open to seeing an unvaccinated patient. The receptionist told me you were."

His response? "We tell them to say that so we can get you in here and give you information on vaccines." I told him that I wish I would have known that before taking off a day of work and driving over an hour to get to the appointment. But that's okay, because he told me he wouldn't charge for the visit.

WHAAAAT?!?

SO. Nice of him.

We packed up and walked out, leaving his precious hand-outs on the exam table.

Here were my afterthoughts, and what I really wish I could have thought of in the moment to say to him:

~If you care so much about the well-being of all children, why won't you even get near my kid? You have a child laying on your exam table, right in front of you, and you won't check him out?

~You believe it is unethical to start a relationship with a patient who you know you can't continue that relationship with, but it is ethical to intentionally lie to people to get them into your office so you can force your beliefs on them?

~You think vaccinated children are the healthiest, but I hear a kid in the next room coughing and hacking (who I can only assume is vaccinated since you are seeing them), and my child has never been sick. (Which, by the way, even now at 2 years old, I can count on one hand the number of times Knox has been sick).

~Finally, no, this visit was not 'free of charge' for me. I lost a day's wage to take a day off work to get to the appointment, and then spent gas money to drive over 2 hours round-trip. But thanks for not charging me for what you called a 'visit.'

I honestly wish I knew who I could report the doctor to. I'm sure there is someone to report to when a doctor is being unethical. He admitted to me that they blatantly lie to their patients.

So this was the second healthcare letdown I had in Knox's life. I just want to reiterate that I am not against doctors and hospitals. I know that many many people have great experiences, but I also know that my story isn't the only one like it out there. I'm very thankful for medicine and doctors, because there are emergencies that require serious care. What I learned from these experiences is that I know my child better than any doctor. I don't need someone to look at my child from 5 feet away and tell me if he is healthy or not. I am glad to have hospitals and doctors if Knox were to ever get ill and I don't know how to handle it. But for now, we will keep using essential oils, homeopathics, and feeding him a healthy diet as a preventative.

Knox is 2!

I can NOT believe that our little boy is already two! We celebrated on Saturday with a Very Hungry Caterpillar themed birthday party. It is Knox's favorite book at the moment, and it seemed fitting. Here are some pictures from the party:

First, the food. It was really easy to figure out what to serve. I pretty much just followed what the book said. Since the hungry caterpillar is apparently not a fan of veggies, I did add some of those. I also served hamburgers and hotdogs, and had a couple more tags on those but I didn't get a picture.

                                   (I found these adorable butterfly shaped crackers...perfect!)

     (I grew the grass in one week. Just an FYI if anyone ever needs to grow grass...it grows fast!)

I made the cake and it ended up being a little busy for my taste. My favorite part was the caterpillar on top. I got creative this year and did a square layer on bottom with a round layer on top. I know, things got crazy, people. Here are pictures of all four sides...

Some of the decorations...

         (I used plates from the Dollar Tree to display pictures of Knox throughout his second year)

(I put pictures of Knox on the table under the gumballs. It was super windy so I had to weigh them down!)

(A complete fail was my balloon caterpillar on the ceiling. It was so windy that they kept falling down when we opened the door. This was the best shot I got...which was after I had to re-tape it a few times.)

(This was in the front yard, directing traffic to the back yard.)

(The wreath for the front door)

(Party favors for the kids. Inside were gummy worms, balloons, and a sucker. I also had coloring pages and crayons for them, but didn't get a picture of it)

(Everyone who came got to sign The Very Hungry Caterpillar for Knox. He has the board book, but he will be ready for the real thing pretty soon.)

And here are some pictures from the party...

(One of his favorite gifts was a pair of cowboy boots)

(sitting with his cousin)

 And lots of lollipop-eating!

We all had an awesome time, but especially Knox! We had perfect weather. It was really windy, but the temperature was great. It's so fun to see Knox get excited and be so happy. Here's a family picture we took at the end of the day...all smiles! And you can actually start to see baby #2 peeking out a little. Happy Birthday Knox!

Coming This December...

It's official!! We can now announce to the world that we will be expecting baby number 2 in December! We are super excited and nervous at the same time. I mean, what will we do with TWO?!?!

So far, it's been a lot of feeling sick and bloated. I haven't thrown up, but have been really nauseous the entire time. Hopefully that ends soon.

Knox is pretty funny about it. Sometimes he is super sweet and gives the baby kisses (and even high 5's....a.k.a. he smacks me in the belly). And sometimes we ask him if he's ready for a new baby and he straight up says "no." He will be almost exactly 2 1/2 when the new baby gets here so I think he will come around to the idea by then. He is really helpful around the house and when we visited my niece last week, he kept getting her sippy cup for her when she dropped it. I think he'll be pretty helpful when the time comes.

I know the question will be if we want a boy or a girl. I don't really care either way. A boy would be easy since we already have all the stuff but it would be nice to have one of each too. We will love him/her unconditionally either way.

I will try to post updates as we go along in this journey for the second time. Right now, we are just happy beyond words!

Carney Christmas 2013

Ah, the craziness of Christmas, in all its glory. This year, I refused to get stressed out by the holiday season. Although I was still shopping for gifts on Christmas Eve, I feel like I did an okay job of keeping that promise to myself. I will admit that I had some help from some of my favorite essential oils to keep me cool, calm, and collected. I put this one on my wrist, this one on my shoulders (which is where I carry most of my stress and tension), and this one on my feet for relaxation. Oh, and by the way, if you would like to order any essential oils from Young Living, let me know. I became a distributor last month...I may even give you a discount!

Back to Christmas. Our Christmas was awesome! We ate a lot of good food, saw a lot of family, and managed to not spend our whole time traveling. But this year felt a little different than most years. I usually have an idea of what I want to buy everyone by the time Thanksgiving rolls around. And although I wait until the last minute to find those gifts, I'm at least prepared with a list. Maybe it was because football season was so long this year, maybe it's because Knox kept us more preoccupied this year, but I found myself a week and a half from Christmas with absolutely no presents bought, and absolutely no idea of what to get ANYONE!

To all the moms and dads out there...are you also finding yourself with an overload of toys in your home and dreading the thought of your child receiving anymore as gifts?!?! That was me this year. I settled on a place to put all the toys and decided to get Knox a toy box. But being 10 days from Christmas, it was a little difficult to find the one I had in mind. We took advantage of Knox's age this year and ended up getting Knox some essentials--socks...books...a toothbrush. Of course, at this age, you can convince them that anything is exciting. "Knox! Look! It's socks!!" Knox responded with, "oooooooo." Which, by the way, is his response anytime he sees Christmas lights.

As Christmas crept closer and closer, I tried to think of Christmas traditions. Growing up, we always went to candlelight service on Christmas Eve. I liked having something we did the same every year. I started asking friends and looking on Pinterest for special ideas. I found this blog, Happy Home Fairy, with a list of awesome traditions to start. Going along with the "too many toys" issue, my favorite idea was to get a Santa bag for each child. On Christmas Eve, have each child fill their bag with toys they no longer use or want. When Santa comes, he takes the old toys and replaces it with his gift to the child. Then he takes those old toys and donates them to children in need. I love the idea because it is a yearly reminder that the season is not all about receiving, and it would create a great teachable moment, showing your children there are some people who do not have a lot. I'm hoping to start this tradition next year, when Knox is a little older and can choose a couple of toys he doesn't want anymore.

I hope you all had an awesome Christmas! I'll post at a later time about our surprise holiday guests who decided to make an appearance...

The Abandonment of Facebook

I am the original Facebook generation. I had Facebook when there were two Facebooks! Some of you probably didn't even know about that awkward time in social media. So what has come over me? There have been several things leading up to this 'abandonment'. Ok, so not really a complete abandonment. I have eliminated (yikes! that sounds so harsh!) a lot of 'friends' from Facebook and deleted the app from my phone. Why you ask? For several reasons...bare with me:

1. First and foremost, I have found myself being preoccupied with Facebook and not present in the everyday, little things...like watching Knox play. While it may seem like the perfect time to catch up on the goings-on in the community of Facebook as Knox is entertaining himself, I realize these moments are precious. He will never be as little as he is right this minute. I don't want to look back someday and regret not watching him play. Plus, I could always be doing something more productive...say, cleaning perhaps?? 

2. The comparisons. Should we have bought a new tv too? Do I need to be taking Knox on play dates too? Why can't I afford to go on that vacation? Why wont Cody ever buy me flowers? Should Knox be talking more? How many times have you asked yourself similar questions after seeing posts on Facebook? I don't know about you but I'm tired of feeling crappy about my life (which is perfectly awesome by the way) because I compare it to the highlighted, sugar-coated version of others' lives. How often have you seen a post that says, 'Today I went to work, came home, ate dinner, and went to bed'? Never? It's because that wouldn't get any 'likes'. And obviously to make an impact in this world and feel like a good and productive citizen, you must have the most likes on Facebook. Let's face it: the posts you see are simply the best snippets out of someone else's day. Compare them to your best snippets and I bet you will feel a heck of a lot better about yourself. 

3. The ads and the ridiculous amounts of recipes, news articles, jokes, forwards, and how-many-likes-can-this-girl-get posts. Period. No further explanation needed. 

4. The judgments. There are too many people out there who have been given permission to post whatever crap comes to their mind. Although I have typed and re-typed this post many times, not everyone has the common sense to type their thoughts, let it sit for a while, and then come back to edit and revise. They post hurtful comments, say negative thoughts, or speak their one-sided opinion without thinking about how it may affect someone else. Right up there with overtaking my time, lately I have felt judged and ridiculed. Not blatantly, but in a more passive aggressive way. Do I vaccinate? No. Am I open about it? Yes. Would you like to know my reasoning? Ask me. But don't post a thousand articles about why I'm killing everyone around me because of my choices. Don't assume I have not researched every possible article, book, and website (both sides of the argument, by the way). I know the statistics. I know them both ways. I have weighed the risk/benefit and I made the choice I felt most comfortable with for MY child. (Yes, MY child. Not yours. You have no say in it. If you don't like it, you have the right to keep your child away from mine. I won't judge you. Not like you've judged me.) And I don't need anyone on Facebook to try to convince me that I am a bad mother for the choices I've made. I am a good mom. And while you are laboring over the computer trying to figure out how to point out all the flaws in choices I make, I'm busy spending quality time with my HEALTHY, happy, funny, sweet, cuddly, ornery, active, smart, loving little boy...who just so happens to be unvaccinated.  

There you have it. The 4 reasons I am limiting my Facebook. If you are a close friend, family member, or community member, you are still on my friends list. I will periodically check it, mainly for upcoming events, professional reasons, and in case I need to get ahold of someone. If you would like to stay updated on our family, this blog will be where you can find us. I'll eventually put up pictures or a photo share site. So keep coming back!