I went to sleep and woke up when Knox came to my bed. He climbed up, curled up between my legs, and fell asleep like that. I noticed Cody wasn't in bed. He must have fallen asleep in the living room. I checked the clock...it was 2:30. I decided to get up and go to the bathroom.
When I came back to bed, I bent over to try to scoot Knox over. My water broke. I yelled at Cody so I didn't make a mess all over the carpet. He came in and brought some towels. I wasn't feeling any contractions so I texted my midwife just to let her know. She had told me that she would be in Branson with her grandkids Thursday and Friday, so I wanted to give her a head's up.
I decided to try to get some rest before my contractions started. It didn't work. Around the time I laid down (about 30 minutes after my water broke), the contractions started. I tried to time them, but I don't think I was doing it right. They were pretty close together...between 2 and 4 minutes apart. I didn't think that was right, but they were never further apart than that so I guess I skipped the early contractions.
I never got back to sleep, so instead, I got the last minute stuff ready and just kept myself moving. Cody went in to the school to get sub plans ready.
Around 7:00, we called my midwife for an update. The contractions were strong, but still not too strong. I didn't want to make the 1 hour+ trip while in hard labor, so we decided to head that way around 7:30.
Cody's mom came over and stayed with Knox. He was still asleep. I was hoping he would wake up so we could explain what was happening, but he didn't.
We got to the birth center at 8:45. My midwife was going to send her assistant to check me, and then decide if she needed to come yet or not. When we got inside and settled, she checked me and said I was between 4 and 5 cm. I still had a while.
The assistant left to run some errands and let me progress on my own. I tried to eat something, but after I took one bite of yogurt, I felt like I was going to throw up. I got a couple of grapes down and decided to stop trying.
I tried laying down to rest, and the contractions got a lot stronger. It felt way better when I was upright and moving around, so I got up. The best position I found was sitting on the edge of a rocking chair. I was able to kind of rock my way through each contraction.
Around 11:00, I got in the shower because the contractions were a lot stronger. It helped me relax and get to that next level of contractions.
When I got out, I got on the birthing ball and bounced, rolled, etc. The assistant was back by then and checked me again. I was at 6 cm. Getting there! I was doing well getting through the contractions. I felt focused and relaxed, remembering how to breathe and using Cody to help me.
This is when chaos broke out. I was on the ball still and a lady came in the room. She introduced herself as the doctor that oversees the birth center. She explained that in Missouri, nurse midwives have to have a doctor to 'okay' every birth they take on. She then said that she didn't know anything about me. She asked me a lot of questions about my last pregnancy, health background, etc. I could tell there was some tension in the room, as she was not being very pleasant toward Cody and I or the assistant. I tried answering the questions, but I was having contractions every minute and a half or so, and they were very strong. When I did have a contraction, she would rudely say, "I'll wait..." So Cody answered most of the questions. She left the room to go over all the information we gave her.
When she came back in, she said she did not feel comfortable letting me attempt a VBAC at the birth center. She started going over options, explaining that there were plenty of doctors in Springfield who would let me attempt a VBAC. But, at that point, we were no longer welcome to have the baby at the birth center. Cody was mad. He was calmly arguing with her. I was still on the birthing ball. I kept my eyes closed and focused on breathing through the contractions. They were getting very strong and getting closer together. The doctor finally said, "well, you're the one who is in labor. Can you share what you're thinking?"
Hmm...what I'm thinking? I was thinking, "who do we know in Springfield who would let us have a baby at their house?" and, "could I make the drive home without having the baby in the car?" and plenty of bad thoughts toward the doctor. However, the only word I could get out was, "no," because, frankly, I share my thoughts with people who care about me. And if you are going to throw me out on the street when I could deliver a baby at any moment, you don't deserve to know what I'm thinking.
I finally told her to leave, that we needed a minute to talk in private. She left, and my midwife's assistant apologized greatly, telling me they had somewhere for me to go if I didn't want to go to the hospital. I knew that if I walked into a hospital at this point in labor, no doctor would want to take the risk of a VBAC with a patient they've never met before, and I would surely end up with another cesarean. So I got enough strength up to say, "I don't want to go to the hospital."
With those words, we flew into crazy mode. We packed things up (and I use the word 'we' very loosely. I definitely was not much help at that point), and Cody took everything to the car. The assistant helped me walk out to the car. Although it was a short walk, I had to stop several times for contractions. The doctor was prying us for information as we were leaving, wanting to know where we were going. Again, she did not deserve to know that information.
As we got to the car, my midwife pulled into the parking lot. We found out later that she and her husband got pulled over trying to get there. She went inside and surely had some words with the doctor. We got in the car, with the assistant in the back seat to help me through contractions. She pushed on my back where I had a lot of pressure.
She apologized, saying we had a 30-minute drive. As Cody pulled onto the road, I said, "don't tell our parents what we're doing!"
That was a long car ride! I was still calm, breathing through the contractions. But every little bump felt like a crater! Our car is so tiny, so there wasn't much room to move around.
We got to a house. Our midwife knew this lady from when she was a doula. She opened her home to us and was happy to help with the birth. She had her master suite ready for us as we got there, with fresh sheets on the bed and her big tub cleaned.
My midwife wanted to check my dilation. I was standing and hugging Cody around the neck. She checked me standing, which was great since I didn't feel like I could move. I was dilated to 8, but my cervix started firming up a little from the stress of everything. I had broke down just a little once we got there, but I think it could have been a lot worse :)
I remember standing with my hip popped to the side, and I just couldn't relax. I said I felt like I had to pee, so I got to the toilet, which helped relax me too. All of the sudden, I thought I was going to puke. I looked around and couldn't find a trash can. My midwife kept trying to keep me calm, saying this is good--it meant I was in transition.
After the nausea passed, I got in the tub. It helped me relax, but not for long. The contractions were SO strong with SO much pressure. Cody got his trunks on and got in the tub to help with positions.
I was feeling sooo much pressure that I thought I had to push. I kept the thought to myself for a second, because I was kind of waiting for someone to tell me to push. That sounds so stupid now, but that's what all the shows you watch make it seem like. I finally said, "I feel like I need to push!"
My midwife said, "good! Then push!"
"I can push?!?"
"YES!"
So with the next contraction, I pushed. It felt better than holding it in. I pushed for a while, but I wasn't doing an effective job. My midwife coached me through some. I kept getting so hot in the tub. I drank a lot of water and used cool rags on my forehead and neck. I felt like I couldn't breathe! I also couldn't get a good grip with my feet, so we finally got out of the tub so I could get in a better position for pushing.
Cody sat on the edge of the tub with his legs spread. I squatted down between his legs, facing away from him. I rested my arms on his legs and he held my arms to keep me up. I pushed for not very long like this, and finally felt the stinging feeling my childbirth instructor told me about. I kept reminding myself that even though it was a tearing feeling, it's really just my body going numb and it won't last long.
My midwife had me reach down and feel Nora's head. I couldn't believe she was so close to being in my arms! A couple more pushes, and Nora came flying out! My midwife put her in my arms and I was immediately in love! The first words out of my mouth were, "oh, she looks like Knox!!"
I sat down the rest of the way on the floor, and I held Nora until the cord stopped pulsing. Cody cut the cord.
Then we made our way to the bed to deliver the placenta. Holy crap! Why doesn't anyone make a big deal about that? I remember telling everyone that it's not fair that you still have to do work after you just had a baby.
During all of that, the assistant worked with Nora to get her latched on. She was so patient and Nora latched on like a champ.
After my midwife checked to make sure the placenta was intact, she actually let us see it. It is amazing how our bodies make such a safe place for the baby to live for ten months. A miracle for sure.
We were planning on going home right away, but it was such a crazy turn of events that we decided to stay the night. They went and got us burgers and fries, then left us to enjoy Nora alone the rest of the evening. I cannot get over the generosity and hospitality of everyone. We were blessed to have met them!
Although my concept of time was gone throughout the whole day (time seemed to fly by actually!), here's a rough estimate of how things went. We left the birth center around 1:45, got to the house around 2:15, and Nora was born at 3:44. I started pushing maybe 30 minutes after we got there. It was super fast after we got settled.
I am so happy with my midwife and her assistant, and feel like they were wonderful given the situation. The only person I fault for everything that happened is the doctor at the birth center. She was rude and negligent. Things could have gone so differently, and I'm thankful they didn't! I will never understand why she treated us the way she did, and how someone like that can live with themselves. We will never stop telling people about this, hoping they don't get treated the same way.
Anyway, overall, I'm happy with everything. I finally got the natural birth I have always wanted. I got to experience it in a unique way to say the least! And it turns out that I had a home birth after all. I can't wait to do it again...although, next time, I think we will try a home birth at our own home :D
